"Coaching and mentoring - if done well - is like having all of your closest friends and family members rolled into one."
By Richard S.
Laidback, caring, and forgiving. These were the three ingredients that led me to the darkness of an abusive relationship which ever so slowly pinioned me into an increasingly dangerous and untenable life, complete with child, without me acknowledging it until it was too late. So I thought.
There are times in life when it helps to deep dive into your past to help you understand your past, deal with underlying trauma and help navigate life better in the future. This was not one of those times. There’s a reason why professional sports players have coaches: to help encourage and push boundaries in order to achieve better things in remarkably short periods of time. This is what Chris did for me.
As life tumbled from what on the outside seemed like ‘textbook success’, to a mess of hurt, vulnerability and even poverty, Chris stood by my side and helped me on the journey to acceptance of my predicament and a plan of action to get me out of it. At times like this you need a confidant, a friend who’s not afraid to challenge you and who’s always got your best interests at heart.
Through regular conversations, a lot of reassurance and goal setting, I went from regularly having to placate a violent, manipulative partner in a far-off land to executing a well-planned escape for myself and my child to start afresh back where I started. Coaching and mentoring - if done well - is like having all of your closest friends and family members rolled into one, but with the added extra of transparency (they’ll say what they see) and continual motivation (they’ll keep on at you).
Your wellbeing and growth is central to their relationship with you but most importantly, they help you discover, or re-discover yourself, your values, your inner strength and gently nudge you in the direction where you affect meaningful change yourself. Thanks to Chris’ tireless efforts as a coach and mentor myself and my child are where we should be: happy, content and growing.
I’ll be forever grateful to Chris.
Richard
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Thank you for sharing your experience of being mentored Richard. I am pleased that Chris was able to encourage you to make a positive change to remove yourself and your child from the abusive relationship that you were in and to help you continue to grow in yourself and as a father. I too have been mentored by Chris, he isn’t afraid to challenge but he has always helped me see the reality of the situation and encouraged me to change my life for the better.
Thank you for sharing your experience being mentored Richard. I loved what you said that it’s like “all of your closest friends and family members rolled into one, with that added transparency”, definitely, and also what family members and closest friends ought to be like, I might add! I can relate to your experience of feeling like it’s too late but the hope and forgiveness and the love that is within this community, and that of our each and individual mentors, helps us to transcend our problems and challenges to live at higher and higher levels, and I will be forever grateful for that too. Thank you for sharing your experience Richard, and so pleased to hear that yourself and…
Thank you so much Richard for sharing about your journey and about how Chris helped you and your child to sort your life out and to get to a place of happiness while continuing to grow. It really sounds like you were on quite a rollercoaster ride and went through a lot of pain. I’m also mentored by Chris and I can relate a lot to the importance of having someone in your life who you can trust, who cares for you and who has an understanding of laws and principles of life. Absolutely loving your quote: "Coaching and mentoring - if done well - is like having all of your closest friends and family members rolled into one.”. Thanks…
Thank you Richard for sharing your journey into mentorship. Something you shared I feel is so valuable to mention, what led you into a toxic relationship, being ‘Laidback, caring and forgiving’. What I imagine with that is being overly accepting and letting things go, fundamentally lacking the ability to respond effectively to life and living. Something I felt about my many years on this earth, life isn’t easy, especially when you don’t know how to live correctly. There is the casing point, I feel that underpins your article, there is a way to live correctly, optimally, effectively, affluently and abundantly….we’ve just haven’t been given the manual. It’s there, we just need to piece it together. That has been my journey…
Richard, I really want to hear more of your journey past and present. You inspire me, you are a dad first and foremost taking massive responsibility for yourself and your family. I know from the other side of the fence as a child of a single parent, how much grit and courage and heart this takes - everything you have for everything and everyone you care about. Also you put a light on a reality I do not appreciate but is a dark reality of our world - men are abused by their partners. It doesn't fit the "narrative", but it's worryingly true. Thank you for your courage and for your example. I aspire to be the best father I…